I Feel Like a Failure

Even thought I went and read a whole article about why you shouldn't weigh yourself every day because of all the factors that go into your actual weight each day....I still do it, and I'm still disappointed a lot of the time. One of the big ones was that how much water you drink each day can affect your weight considerably. If I drink say only a cup or two of water a day my body is going to hold onto water thus making the number on the scale go up. If I drink plenty of water then my body will not hold onto that water making the number go down (hopefully). These revelations kind of help but don't really put any sort of positive spin onto the number on the scale creeping upwards these days. I am not even going to say what my weight was this morning but I am not happy about it. I don't know how it keeps happening but I am very frustrated. Maybe I just need to drink more water..... I suppose it would be better if I only weighed myself once a week at the most but I have a very hard time with self control (obviously) and I am an adult will full access to my scale at all times. How am I supposed to NOT weigh myself daily?!? Whatever, I will just have to get over it...I have been logging food for close to a month now (I think in 2 days it will be a month) and I cant give up now. I am going to be visiting my parents for Thanksgiving and I really, REALLY want to be able to tell my dad that I have lost 20 pounds. He will be so proud of me no matter what but I really want to blow him away, 20 pounds in 1 month is nothing to sneeze at (not sure if that's the proper saying but it makes me giggle so it stays). Onto a new topic, I stumbled upon a blog called Living ~400lbs | … and believe me I am still alive I'm not really sure HOW I found this blog but I think it was when I was researching different reasons the number on the scale varies. This blog is about a woman who weighs about 400 pounds and is doing NOTHING to change it. I am not putting her down, it takes a lot of strength to accept who you are in this world especially when the world is SO cruel. On the other hand I literally and completely do NOT understand why she isn't trying to change it. I will however blame that way of thinking solely on myself because I hate everything about being fat, EVERYTHING! And I can not imagine being ok living like that, but like I said that is on ME not her, I kinda envy her for her courage. The blog is very interesting and I have barely skimmed through the entries but I will probably read some more in my down time. Ok folks, I think that is all I have for now hope you all have a great day! Logging out!

Ms.Jess