Daily Exersize

Hi guys, sorry I haven't been posting as much. I find that since I am not weighing myself every day like before its hard for me to find something to write about lol. But anyway, I've been trying to 'exersize' every day. About 30 mins of walking is my goal. A while back I got a treadmill for free off of craigslist and I've been using that but unfortunately it's kind of crappy and the belt that you walk on moves to the right and is starting to shred. Plus it's super loud and just ew lol. So this week I've starting walking in the real world! Haha. When I take the kids to school I park about 20 mins (walking) away from the dog park and walk down and let Jack play then walk back. It gets a nice 40 min walk in plus the play at the park. Since the weather is still nice I'll keep doing it. When the weather starts getting yucky I might have to look into getting a new treadmill. It's the little things, instead of sitting while eating my yogurt I walked around the house. Trying to stay on my feet as much as I can. I still relax but not all day like I used to. Well off to school we go! Then to the walk! I'll post a photo of my pup playing later :) bye!

Back on Track!

So since last Tuesday I have been counting calories again and walking on my treadmill. This time my husband has joined me! He has gained about 35 pounds in a relatively short amount of time and he finally noticed it. Well anyway, I used to weigh myself every morning but I found I would be disappointed very often and decided to weigh myself once per week. I know Tuesday to Monday isn't a week but I only started Tuesday. But anyway, I've lost 5.2 pounds! I am ecstatic! Oh by the way I had gained back up to 285 so not all the way to 300 but close. I'm now at 278.9 and I am thrilled! I will keep going strong!

What Does A Fat Girl Wear?

Well lately and over the summer I learned how to make these stretchy dresses that are comfy and semi flattering. I would add circle skirts (that I made) to shirts that matched. They just pulled over and I was good to go. However lately I've become tired of them but now that summer is over and pants would be required I am not wanting to go through the gruesome, emotionally draining task of shopping for pants. On top of the pants thing I only own tank tops at this moment that fit so I am going to stick to the dresses until I have lost at least the weight that I gained back. I'll post a photo of one of the dresses here. 

(I cinched it in the back for the photo so it looked more fitted. It's much wider.)

Trying To Get Back On Track

When my husband gets home I am going to see if we are able to grab some new batteries for the scale. First thing this morning after dropping my step daughter off at school I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I almost gave up at 20 minutes but I made myself keep going. I am going to take new measurements today and compare to my old ones and mark them in a book for a new starting point. I am praying to the gods that I didn't gain it ALL back. Wish me luck on my second leg of this journey.

Completely Broken

Ups and downs are a known setback for dieting. However I did not expect to come crashing down this bad after so much success. I've failed on a catastrophic level guys and my depression regarding the whole ordeal has prevented me from picking myself back up. I think about it every day but I can't seem to bring myself to actually kick my butt into gear. I'm pretty sure I gained it all back. My downward spiral started when the batteries in my scale died. I no longer could track my weight and being who I am I constantly forget to get new batteries. Because of this I slipped, thinking that because I couldn't see it on the scale that I wasn't doing any damage. Then old habits just gripped me tight again and I completely gave up. I've been putting off getting new batteries for the scale because I am terrified of what it will say.
I've gotten back to the point where just existing is uncomfortable. Moving is hard and all I want to do is sit at the tv or computer and do nothing. My heart aches for the lost progress and what could have been. I could have been so far but I'm back in a size 3x terrified to shop for an even bigger coat as winter approaches. I could use some support so if anyone is still out there please reach out to me. I need help.